apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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