just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
