I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
