At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize