I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
