her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
