i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
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