drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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