apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
