Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
