when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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