I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
