I love black thongs
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
