where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
