birth control should be required to get into college
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
