I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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