things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
