I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
