Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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