just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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