That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
