I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
