no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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