She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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