just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
