Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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