I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
