btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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