he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize