Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
