And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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