umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
