you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
