Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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