I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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