Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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