i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize