she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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