You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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