i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize