What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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