New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
