we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize