Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
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God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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