Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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