The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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