i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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