margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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