i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
