Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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