Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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