the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
