one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
