i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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