I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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