Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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